We’ll see how this goes…

I’ve been pretty reluctant to start a blog (again).  I love the thought of writing about the kids, travel, the house, the dog, , the dog’s travel, the dog’s kids…well maybe not that.  We’ve already had to have a few discussions about why the dog can’t have ‘kids’.

“Why can’t Koko have puppies?”

“She’s been fixed.”

“Well I don’t know what was wrong with her, but you didn’t do a very good job fixing her if now she can’t even have puppies!  Seems like she’s still broken to me!”

And that, my friends, is why I need an outlet, it appears I am raising children who are just as snarky as I am.

I’ve tried this before and the problem is I don’t seem to follow through.  Probably because it usually goes like this:

I wanted to write tonight, the night before last, a few days ago, it is,  was Saturday and  the perfect night of non-commitment to sit down and try to start a blog.  So I poured a glass of wine and opened the iPad.  Two sentences down and I realized that I hadn’t finished cleaning the kitchen after dinner.

I’m one of those people who can’t stand the smell of dinner once it’s over.  The kitchen smells great whilst something is cooking, but as soon we are done eating, the smell should be gone.

It’s like when your man comes in the house after working in the shop all day, just because he smells all “manly” doesn’t mean you want that smell lingering in your house all night.

That’s okay, I’ll just get up and clean that (the kitchen, not the man), it will only take a couple of minutes.

There.  Comfy again (had to change my shirt because apparently at 40 I still haven’t mastered washing out a sauce pan without splashing myself with nasty soapy water).  Anyway, wine still chilled.  Two more sentences.

“Mom, I can’t find pajamas!!!!”

“It’s 6:30.”

“But I want to be snuggly now!”

“They’re in the drawer, left hand, top”

“NOPE! Just toothpaste and toilet paper!”

“The drawer in your bedroom.”  (Assuming that she’s in the bathroom and not in her bedroom and hasn’t started hoarding bathroom necessities).

“Can you just get them for me?”

Now…where was I?  It can’t be that hard to start one of these things; just a place to write down random thoughts, and to keep in touch with friends and family a little better.  People do it all the time, I should be able to get out a few hundred words every now and then.

How come the dog comes to me when I’m not the one who fills her dish?  It’s like she knows how to go up the chain of command when the kids don’t listen. “Hey, Mom, I tried to go to the smaller humans, but they don’t seem to get it, so if you could feed me, that would be great.”

“Did anybody feed the dog?”

“Oh, I forgot” (because the 65 pound ball of fur nudging you with her nose for the last half hour wasn’t enough of a reminder?)

“Mama, I accidentally spilled her food in her water dish, and now it’s gross, can you get it?”

And up.  And back down again.  And then, what the hell, with this much exercise I’ve already burned up the first glass of wine so I might as well get up and pour another before I start typing again.

There.  Perfect.

And then from upstairs…

“MOM?”.

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to get up, but how do I print this thing out  from your computer?  Well, first I need to make it smaller, like the whole page smaller, then I need to print it”.

…I’ll just come up.

It’s OK, it’s Saturday after all and still early in the evening.

“Mom!  Daddy bought this video game that we can all play!!!!”

Which is how I ended up spending my Saturday night playing “Madagascar” mini-golf .  It is also why I’m not banking on this blog thing working out so great, but what the heck, I’ll give it a try…