Retail Impatience

My husband thinks that I have infinite patience, my children strongly disagree, the truth is it’s probably about average.

Christmas shopping, at best, is a test of patience, and I understand that, but last month I found myself very irritated with the woman in front of me in line at Target.  The checker had already apologized for being new, so it probably wouldn’t have killed her to crack a smile.  Listen lady, the extra 5 minutes in your day doesn’t mean near as much to you as a friendly smile would mean to him.  Period.  And if you were so flipping special you wouldn’t be here buying Pampers and Doritos at 2:00 in the afternoon.

So when it’s (finally) my turn to check out, the new checker guy says “Hi, how are you?”

And I’m still feeling bad for him after witnessing the treatment from little miss very-snotty-have-to-hurry-home-to-watch- Real Housewives, so I answer with a friendly, “I’m fine, How are you?”

“I’m fine, I’m really sorry for the wait.  I just started.”

“No problem, you’re doing fine.” (Yep, that’s the Mom in me, positive reinforcement people, would it have killed her to remember that we all started something new once or twice?)

“Well it’s my first day.  Actually I’m not even out of training, I’m supposed to have somebody with me, but she didn’t show, so I’m on my own.”

“Oh, that’s a bummer, I’m sure you will do great.” (but if you could start scanning an item, that would also be great).

“OH! Lego’s, you must have kids!”

“Nope, just feel like spending the afternoon playing Legos” (Ok, that was a joke, although I do like to play with Legos)

“Oh, really?  ……….Oh, no, wait, I think you’re joking, you do have kids right?”

“Yes, I do” (Now if you could scan that box, I promise, no more jokes, apparently they’re distracting).

“Oh great!  So you must be Christmas shopping!”

“Yep…” (Scan.  The.  Box. )

“Ok, great, OH!  Is the toaster for your husband?”

I know you don’t know me, but on what planet would I be buying my husband a toaster for Christmas?  “Hey honey, thanks for the last twelve months of love and support, let’s have toast!”.  That would pretty much guarantee that I receive something equally personal, like a broom, for my birthday.

“No, our’s quit working”  (PLEASE scan the box!)

“Ok, are you buying this water bottle?  Or did you just set it here?”

Why the hell else would I have set it there, Just SCAN THE FLIPPING THING!

“Well I did set it there, because I do want to buy it, preferably before it evaporates.” (patience be damned…looks like my kids are right).

And then I noticed daggers coming my way from the woman in line behind me.  She was, no doubt, wondering what my problem was.  Well, I’ll give you four and a half minutes sister, before your perky smile starts to fade, and as much as I’d love to stick around to hear the dialogue when he starts scanning your feminine products; I’ve got to get home and watch Housewives.



One thought on “Retail Impatience

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  1. Very funny indeed, we had a checker yesterday at Safeway that acted the same way, lots of talk and inappropriate comments about what we were buying, but not a lot of “scanning” LOL! It really becomes a test on that positive attitude doesn’t it?


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