The Adventures of Henry the Dragon

It’s really not a big stretch to say that we don’t have complete control of our zoo around here, but I actually thought this morning was running pretty smoothly.  I was up on time, kids were (pretty much) up on time.  Breakfast done, lunches done, etc.  I was in such a good mood that when I went back to J’s room to give Henry the Dragon some carrots I just decided to scoop him up and let him hang out for a bit.  This never happens.  Not in the morning, mornings are crazy.  His social time is at night.  There’s a reason.

Mike had already started working for the day and was busy checking e-mails so I plopped Henry down on his shoulder, and I went about my morning.

Kids off to school, Mike off to work, I marched myself upstairs to my little office, and proceeded to be fairly productive for the next four and a half hours.  About lunch time I wandered downstairs and, it being a nice sunny day, I figured that I should open the shades in J’s room so Henry could get some sunlight. Which I did.  But then I turned around to talk to the little lizard breath and he wasn’t there.  So I looked again.  He’s got a nice enough house, but it’s not huge.  If he’s not in his cave, or under his log there’s really no other place to be.

So I did the only logical thing.  I texted Mike, “Call me ASAP, I can’t find Henry”.  Because clearly, someone who has not been home all day, and who is not currently at home, will certainly be able to help.

In the meantime I’d enlisted the help of the dog: “Koko, where’s Henry? Go find Henry”, and I promptly found myself standing among about forty five tennis balls, because she thinks that “where is” and “go find” only means ball.  Really, why would anyone ever need to find anything else?  Like your son’s flipping lizard!

It is worth adding that the fish tank is right next to Henry’s cage and those three seemed very interested in the extra activity.  However, they were also zero help finding their lost roommate.

And then, lo and behold, Mike text back, “I left him on the bench in the living room, with his carrots”.  What the ….  ?  Why on the bench?  Did he promise to put himself back in his cage?  Have we ever just let him hang out on furniture?  (Okay, yes, he has been forgotten a time or two on the couch, but for like minutes, not for half the day).

So Koko and I went into full search mode, she thought it was great fun and together we looked under all the chairs, and the table, and the bookcases.  We found nothing (except that I need a house cleaner).  And finally, huddled against the wall, in the corner, covered in dog hair and dust bunnies, we found one really pissed off Bearded Dragon.

Koko must have clued in to what we were really doing, because she pounced, and barked and yelled, “MOM!  He’s Here!  Here He Is!!!!”  And our easy going Henry puffed up to about three times his size and hissed a string of profanity that I am certain he did NOT learn from my fourteen year old.

And that was pretty much that.  He’s been under his heat lamp ever since.  Also? he got extra kale.